Q: Can the Catholic Church speak Latin?

Catholic Church: “Hello, Catholic Media Office.”

The Times: “Salve. Volo emere bibliorum sacrorum novam vulgatam editionem.” (Hello. I would like to buy the new Vulgate edition of the Holy Bible)

CC: “Ah. . .”

TT: “Latine loqui coactus sum. Paululum linguae Latinae dicisne?” (I’ve got to speak Latin. Do you speak a little Latin?”)

CC: “Er. No lo so. No lo so.”

TT: “Cum Latine nescias, da mi archiepiscopum.” (Since you don’t know Latin, get me an Archbishop)

CC: [shouting to the rest of the office] “Does anyone speak Latin?”

Another Catholic: “I have GCSE Latin. (Comes on the phone). Can I help?”

TT: “Habes discum novum Benedicti papae?” (Do you have Pope Benedict’s latest CD?)

CC: “Er. . . Could you speak more slowly?”

TT: “Pax vobiscum” (Peace be with you)

CC: “Et cum spiritu tuo.” (And with your spirit)

A: Not really. But they can do formulae.

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